How the Glitch Stole Chanukkah
by anieveIII
Summary: The title pretty much says it all. Please review. There may be a few Jewish terms you may not recognize.


**How the Glitch Stole Chanukkah**
    
    **By Costello**
    
    ** **
    
    ** **
    
    **Every Wee**
    
    **Down in Wee-ville**
    
    **Liked Chanukkah a lot...**
    
    ** **
    
    **But the Glitch,**
    
    **Who lived just East of Wee-ville,**
    
    **Did NOT!**
    
    ** **
    
    **The Glitch hated Chanukkah! The whole Chanukkah season!**
    
    **Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.**
    
    **It could be that his ears were screwed in too tight.**
    
    **It could be his chutzpah (though I doubt that is right).**
    
    **But I think the most possible reason of all**
    
    **May have been his intestines were three sizes too small.**
    
    ** **
    
    **But,**
    
    **Whatever the reason,**
    
    **Intestines or ears,**
    
    **He stood there on Chanukkah eve, shouting some jeers,**
    
    **Staring down from his cave with a sour, Glitchy frown**
    
    **At the warm lighted menorahs below in their town.**
    
    **For he knew every Wee down in Wee-ville beneath**
    
    **Was busy now, cooking some latkes to eat.**
    
    ** **
    
    **"And they're lighting their candles!" he snarled with a sneer.**
    
    **"Tomorrow is Chanukkah! It's practically here!"**
    
    **Then he growled, with his Glitch fingers nervously drumming,**
    
    **"I MUST find a way to keep Chanukkah from coming!"**
    
    **For, tomorrow, he knew...**
    
    ** **
    
    **...All the Wee girls and boys**
    
    **Wouldn't wait for their dinner, they'd rush for their toys!**
    
    **And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!**
    
    **That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!**
    
    ** **
    
    **Then the Wees, young and old, would sit down to a feast.**
    
    **And they'd feast! And they'd feast!**
    
    **And they'd FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!**
    
    **They would start on Wee-latkes, and Wee-gefilte-fish with grease**
    
    **Which was something the Glitch couldn't stand in the least!**
    
    ** **
    
    **And THEN**
    
    **They'd do something he liked least of all!**
    
    **Every Wee down in Wee-ville, the tall and the small,**
    
    **Would stand close together, with Chanukkah bells ringing.**
    
    **They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Wees would start singing!**
    
    ** **
    
    **They'd sing! And they'd sing!**
    
    **AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!**
    
    **And the more the Glitch thought of the Wee- Chanukkah -Sing**
    
    **The more the Glitch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!**
    
    **"Why for forty-two years I've put up with it now!**
    
    **I MUST stop Chanukkah from coming!**
    
    **...But HOW?"**
    
    ** **
    
    **Then he got an idea!**
    
    **A gruesome idea!**
    
    **THE GLITCH**
    
    **GOT A WONDERFUL, GRUESOME IDEA!**
    
    ** **
    
    **"I know just what to do!" The Glitch laughed in his throat.**
    
    **And he made a quick Yamaka and started to gloat.**
    
    **And he chuckled, "What a great Glitchy trick, you can't deny!**
    
    **"With this Yamaka on, I'll look like a rabbi!"**
    
    ** **
    
    **"All I need is a Torah..."**
    
    **The Grinch looked around.**
    
    **But since Torahs are scarce, there were none to be found.**
    
    **Did that stop the old Glitch...?**
    
    **No! The Glitch simply said,**
    
    **"If I can't find a Torah I'll make one instead!"**
    
    **So he called his dog Max. Then he took some red thread**
    
    **And he sewed some Hebrew on the top of his head.**
    
    ** **
    
    **THEN**
    
    **He loaded some bags**
    
    **And some old empty sacks**
    
    **On a ramshakle bike**
    
    **And he hitched up old Max.**
    
    ** **
    
    **Then the Grinch said, "Giddyap!"**
    
    **And the bike started down**
    
    **Toward the homes where the Wees**
    
    **Lay asleep in their town.**
    
    ** **
    
    **All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.**
    
    **All the Wees were all dreaming sweet dreams without care**
    
    **When he came to the first house in the square.**
    
    **"This is stop number one," The old Glitch Rabbi hissed**
    
    **And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.**
    
    ** **
    
    **Then he slid through the open window. A rather tight pinch.**
    
    **But if burglers could do it, then so could the Glitch.**
    
    **He got stuck only once, for a moment or four.**
    
    **Then he got through and noticed the wide-open door. **
    
    **Where the little Wee dreidels all lay in a heap.**
    
    **"These dreidels," he grinned, "are the first things I'll keep!"**
    
    ** **
    
    **Then he creeped and he slank, an unpleasant smile on his jaw,**
    
    **Around the whole room, and he took the menorah!**
    
    **And the books! And the Gelt! And rattles and drums!**
    
    **Checkerboards! Talmuds! Latkes! And plums!**
    
    **And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,**
    
    **Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!**
    
    ** **
    
    **Then he slunk to the freezer. He took the Wees' feast!**
    
    **He took the Gefilte Fish! Also the grease!**
    
    **He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a wink.**
    
    **Why, that Glitch took everything but the kitchen sink!**
    
    ** **
    
    **Then he stuffed all the food through the window and rambled.**
    
    **"Now I must stuff up the Wee's very candles!"**
    
    ** **
    
    **And the Glitch grabbed the candles, and started to shove**
    
    **When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.**
    
    **He turned around fast, and he saw a small Wee!**
    
    **Little Mimi-Dee Wee, who was not more than three.**
    
    ** **
    
    **The Glitch had been caught by this little Wee daughter**
    
    **Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.**
    
    **She stared at the Glitch and said, "Shalom, but, why,**
    
    **"Why are you taking our Candles sir? WHY?"**
    
    ** **
    
    **But, you know, that old Glitch was so smart and so slick**
    
    **He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!**
    
    **"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake rabbi lied,**
    
    **"There's a light on this candle that won't light on one side.**
    
    **"So I'm taking it home to my store, my dear.**
    
    **"I'll exchange it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."**
    
    ** **
    
    **And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head**
    
    **And he got her a drink and he sent he to bed.**
    
    **And when Mimi-Dee Wee went to bed with her glass,**
    
    **HE went to the window and stuffed the candles through fast!**
    
    ** **
    
    **Then the last thing he took**
    
    **Was the log for their fire.**
    
    **Then he went throough the window himself, the old liar.**
    
    **On their walls he left nothing but hooks, and some wire.**
    
    ** **
    
    **And the one speck of food**
    
    **The he left in the house**
    
    **Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.**
    
    ** **
    
    ** **
    
    **Then**
    
    **He did the same thing**
    
    **To the other Wees' houses**
    
    ** **
    
    **Leaving crumbs**
    
    **Much too small**
    
    **For the other Wees' mouses!**
    
    ** **
    
    **It was quarter past dawn...**
    
    **All the Wees, out like a light,**
    
    **All the Wees, still a-snooze**
    
    **When he packed up his bike,**
    
    **Packed it up with their presents! The dreidels! The wrappings!**
    
    **The latkes! The Matzah! The gelt! The wrappings!**
    
    ** **
    
    **Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mount Muvvit,**
    
    **He rode to the tiptop to go up and shove it!**
    
    **"Pooh-pooh to the Wees!" he was glitch-ish-ly humming.**
    
    **"They're finding out now that no Chanukkah is coming!**
    
    **"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!**
    
    **"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two**
    
    **"The all the Wees down in Wee-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!"**
    
    ** **
    
    **"That's a noise," grinned the Glitch,**
    
    **"That I simply must hear!"**
    
    **So he paused. And the Glitch put a hand to his ear.**
    
    **And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.**
    
    **It started in low. Then it started to grow...**
    
    ** **
    
    **But the sound wasn't sad!**
    
    **Why, this sound sounded merry!**
    
    **It couldn't be so!**
    
    **But it WAS merry! VERY!**
    
    ** **
    
    **He stared down at Wee-ville!**
    
    **The Glitch popped his eyes!**
    
    **Then he shook!**
    
    **What he saw was a shocking surprise!**
    
    ** **
    
    **Every Wee down in Wee-ville, the tall and the small,**
    
    **Was singing! Without any presents at all!**
    
    **He HADN'T stopped Chanukkah from coming!**
    
    **IT CAME!**
    
    **Somehow or other, it came just the same!**
    
    ** **
    
    **And the Glitch, with his glitch-feet ice-cold in the snow,**
    
    **Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?**
    
    **It came without latkes! It came without tags!**
    
    **"It came without gefilte fish, dreidels or bags!"**
    
    **And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.**
    
    **Then the Glitch thought of something he hadn't before!**
    
    **"Maybe Chanukkah," he thought, "doesn't come from a store.**
    
    **"Maybe Chanukkah...perhaps...means a little bit more!"**
    
    ** **
    
    **And what happened then...?**
    
    **Well...in Wee-ville they say**
    
    **That the Grinch's small intestines**
    
    **Grew FOUR sizes that day!**
    
    **And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,**
    
    **He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light**
    
    **And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!**
    
    **And he...**
    
    ** **
    
    **...HE HIMSELF...!**
    
    **The Grinch carved the fish and the grease!******

  



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